This page is incredibly offensive, and I don't condone a single word of it. However, it is quite funny, and I ask that you NOT e-mail me with any statements of how offended you are. Read at your own risk. Rude And Sick JokesQ: What do women and spaghetti have in common? A: They both squirm when you eat them. Q: Whats 69 and 69? A: Dinner for four. Q: Why don't chickens wear underwear? A: Because their peckers are on their faces. Q: Whats worse than being raped by Jack the Ripper? A: Being fingered by Captain Hook. Q: Whats worse than lobsters on your piano? A: Crabs on your organ. Q: Did you hear about the nympho at the hotel pool? A: She was barred from the area after the lifeguard saw her go down for the third time. Q: How do you make a hormone? A: Don't pay her. Q: Whats the difference between 'ohh' and 'ahh'? A: About 4 inches. Q: When does a cub become a boy scout? A:When he eats his first Brownie. Q: Whats the difference between Like and Love? A: Spit and Swallow. Q: Whats the difference between men and jelly beans? A: Jelly beans come in different colors. Q: What do Rubiks cube and a penis have in common? A: The longer you play with it, the harder it gets! Q: Why do female paratroopers wear jockstraps? A: So they don't whistle on the way down. Q: How can you tell a macho women? A: She rolls her own tampons. Q: What do a coffin and a condom have in common? A: They're both filled with stiffs - only ones coming and ones going. Q: How do you know that a female bartender is pissed off with you? A: There's a string hanging out of your bloody Mary. Q: How do you recycle a used tampon? A: As a tea-bag for vampires. Q: What do you get if you cross Bananarama with a Vibrator? A: Wet, Wet, Wet Q: Whats 12 inches long and stiff in the morning? A: Cot-death. Q: What do elephants use as tampons? A: Sheep Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job Q: What do you do in case of fallout? A: Put it back in and take shorter strokes Q: What's better than a rose on your piano? A: Two lips on your organ Q: What is the definition of pure agony ? A: Fucking a meat mincer! Q: What's a 68? A: You do me, and I'll owe you one! Q: What's the ultimate in rejection? A: When your spanking hand falls asleep Q: What is organic dental floss? A: Pubic hair Q: What are the three greatest lies? a)the check is in the mail b)small is beatiful c)I won't come in your mouth Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend's frigid ? A: When you open her legs the lights go on Q: Why did the pervert cross the road? A: Because he got his dick stuck in the chicken? Q: Which of the following doesn't belong? (a) meat (b) eggs (c) wife (d) blowjob. Answer: (d) a blowjob because it's possible to beat your meat, your eggs, or your wife, but you can't beat a blowjob. Q: What's got four legs and one arm ? A: A Rotwieller Q: What do you call a rabbit with a bent dick?. A: Fucks funny!. Q: what do you call grit in a condom A: An organ grinder!. Q: Whats green and eats nuts A: Herpes!. Q: Why did the condom fly across the room? A: Because it got pissed off. Q: Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? A: He decided to stick it out for one more year! Q: What does Old Milwaukee and making love in a small rowing-boat have in common? A: They are both fucking close to water!